Being a MOM

I have just been thinking alot about being a mom.
What kind of parent am I?
Am I doing everything I always wanted to do with my kids?
Am I teaching them everything I should and need to be teaching them?
What have I missed and how can I improve?
I look at these SWEET little TENDER beings and I know I am 100% responsible
for every little and big thing that takes place with them.
Safety, behavior, health, happiness, most developement, choices they make or "will" make,
their knowledge of the gospel, etc.
It is so overwhelming to me.
I feel its important to think about these things and evaluate them and become better because
we can always be "better".

I also have this weird obsession with their "memory of me"
How will my children remember me as a mother?
Not just when I pass away but when they are all grown.
What will their perception of me be when they are all grown?
Will I be someone they turn to?
Will they have respect for me and for my advice?
How do you ENSURE those things that you want so badly?
I think a huge part of it is being a good example for them and lead by example....
but for some reason that can be hard because I feel like sometimes
I want them to be "more" than what "I" am.
I love being a mom. Sometimes I get so stressed out about the world and what it will do and the effect it will have on them.
Then I have to remember 2 things....
first, there is a reason why we have the gospel,
second, we can let the world change us or we can CHANGE the world.
Anyway, I love my husband and little boys in a way I never knew you could love.
It is one of the most amazing, most fulfilling feelings I have ever experienced.
I am so thankful for them.