Continuing to Learn and Grow
I always find it so amazing that we as human beings are
Learning, Growing, Changing and Making Choices.
I find it SO intriging that life is really
and that at times I make it SO COMPLEX
Last night I was so excited to get these swimsuits I ordered.
Something just for me.
I haven't done that in a LONG time.
Trying them on, thinking I looked pretty good and
excited for my husband to get home so I could show him.
I have been working out HARD over the summer
and I thought I had begun to see some positive results.
Then I wanted to show my friend Leah who has moved home
so I had Brandon take pictures of me to send to her to show her...
He took the pictures and as I am looking at them before sending them to her,
I am in disgust as I looked at myself in these pictures.
"wow I must be blind if I thought I looked good"
and "ew, is that really what I look like???"
My wonderful feeling was quickly flushed down the toilet
and I was left feeling like crap.
Needless to say, I didn't send the pictures.
I don't tell this story for any kind of "nice" comments saying
I look so good "for having 3 kids"
or whatever might go through ones mind when reading this.
I tell it because after THIS experience I learned something from it later on.
I was watching a video on youtube and it
TOTALLY STRUCK me.
What is amazing, is that I have seen this video before,
but it always HITS me to the core.
I cry everytime.
I admire this woman so much and I am just in AWE of her.
I think part of it that really GETS me is that I am a mom too
and I put myself in her shoes and I don't know if I would have her strength.
I immediately felt almost guilty for having the "feelings"
I had last night.
How dare I get upset about something so trivial
when there are people out there dealing with things like this
with such grace and strength.
I feel like I need to be MORE APPRECIATIVE
of my body and what I have.
The abilities I have.
I am so BLESSED
and why don't I recognize that more often?
Why don't I remember the POSITIVE things MORE???
It's a choice and I need to